Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
