We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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