Sry I called you an 8
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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