You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
