dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
