What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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