how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
