I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
