he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize