Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
