Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
