I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm bleeding and have questions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
