Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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