I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize