I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
