I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
