should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
