Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
