If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize