This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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