Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
