its not stalking. its research.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
