Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
