I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
