The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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