i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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