shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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