I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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