I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize