Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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