And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
