The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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