Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
