Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
