He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
