Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
