So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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