Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
