Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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