Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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