And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
