the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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