Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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