Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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