I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
