Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
