Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
