But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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