So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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