I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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