yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
