I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
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