that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
