Pregnant stripper...not hot.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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