He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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