i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
