false alarm. still invincible.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
