is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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