foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
