I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
